Monday, June 25, 2012

The White Man's Burden

Living in Swaziland the past 2 years has opened my eyes in ways I never would have expected. For instance I never thought I'd be so offended from strangers calling me an "Mlungu" (White person) then followed by some sort of Asian country, most often China and India. Strangers shout out, "HEY MLUNGU! Mlungu China, Marry me?" When I say no repeatedly, they then ask, "Where is your shop? Give me a job. Give me sweeties." Or the fact that I would come to love and appreciate water SO VERY MUCH, that I would become an activist for women's rights, and that I would come to a new found knowledge on how religion does not mix well with cultural practices when the cultural values and norms contradict their religious beliefs. But the biggest eye opener has been the issue of international aid or what I like to refer to as "The White Man's Burden".

Before living in Africa I was a huge supporter of donating money to various funds, supporting children in developing countries, and finding ways to help the "poor, starving, helpless children in Africa". I wanted to do anything I could to help. But from living here my eyes have been opened: they don't need our help, our donations to charity organizations, or what we deem as our "valuable and insightful knowledge on the correct ways to solve their problems". What they really need is for us to back off, let them deal with their issues solving them with their own voices, in their own ways and through their own resources. Yes, international aid is needed but not through our big and lofty ideas of what would be great to give to Africans. This unfortunately has only created a dependency on foreign aid, free hand outs and has limited them to thinking that everything will be given to them; that there is no need to work for something when someone will come along to hand it over freely. Many people donate without researching the political and cultural details of the place and organization they're trying to "help", which can be a HUGE mistake. Sadly, there are so many well known organizations and missions that do more harm than good. Organizations and missions often come into villages with big projects, building schools, dams, boreholes, giving out clothes and food etc, without involving the local people. As a result, the people in those areas will often refrain from doing work because they're waiting for those same organizations/missions to come back and do the work for them.

So that begs the questions, what are good organizations to donate to and should I donate money? YES! There are plenty of wonderful NGOs that the money donated will go directly to the people and the projects. Partners In Health, Red Cross, Doctors Without Borders, Global Giving and Peace Corps are just a few great organizations where real changes can be accomplished and significant progress can be made. The best organizations are grass root organizations where they are building capacity instead of making a footprint, giving out free material possessions and then leaving immediately. African countries do need help and support but not in the ways that we think. Buying a stop Kony bracelet does nothing, but by donating to grass root organizations like Vusumnotfo (one I support and work closely with in Swaziland) at globalgiving.org, you could help build preschools, train teachers, further develop permaculture in rural communities, and hold grant writing workshops for community leaders. There are endless opportunities to donate, but all it requires is a little background research.

The following article was posted on Matador Change at http://matadornetwork.com/change/7-worst-international-aid-ideas/. It's a great read and so true. Hopefully you'll gain something out of it, as I did.


7 Worst International Aid Ideas

Maybe their hearts were in the right place. Maybe not. Either way, these are solid contenders for the title of “worst attempts at helping others since colonialism.”

1. One million t-shirts for Africa
Aid circles employ the cynical acronym SWEDOW (stuff we don’t want) to describe initiatives like Jason Sadler’s 1 Million T-Shirts  project. Sadler had admittedly never been to Africa, and had never worked in an aid or development environment before. But he cared a great deal, and came up with the idea to send a million free shirts to Africa in order to help the people there.
Like some sort of lightning rod for the combined venom of the humanitarian aid world, Jason found himself pilloried across the web in a matter of weeks. Everyone from armchair bloggers to senior economists spat fire on his dream until it eventually ground to a halt. In July 2010, Jason threw in the towel and abandoned his scheme. And somewhere in Africa, an economy sighed in relief.
Why was the idea so bad?




Firstly, it’s debatable whether there is actually a need for T-shirts in Africa. There is practically nowhere that people who want shirts are unable to afford them. Wanting to donate them is a classic case of having something you want to donate and assuming it is needed. Just because you have a really large hammer does not mean that everything in the world is a nail.
Secondly, dumping a million free shirts is inefficient. What it would cost to pack them, ship them, and transport them overland to wherever it is that they are meant to go would cost close to the manufacturing cost of the shirts in the first place. That’s just incredibly wasteful. If you wanted to get people shirts, it would be far more cost effective to simply commission their manufacture locally, creating a stimulus to the local textile economy in the process.
Which brings us to the third critique of free stuff. When people in the target community already have an economy functioning in part on the sale and repair of the stuff you want to donate (shirts in this instance), then dumping a million of them free is the economic equivalent of an atom bomb. Why buy a shirt anymore when you can get a five-year supply for free? Why get yours repaired when you can simply toss it and get another? And in the process everyone who once sold shirts or practiced tailoring finds themselves unemployed and unable to provide money for themselves or their families to buy anything.
Except shirts. Because those are now free.
And before you think dumping free shirts is the sin of an uneducated maverick, Jason’s poor logic was subsequently repeated by World Vision , in accepting 100,000 NFL shirts to dump on some poor, shirtless village in Africa.
2. TOMS Buy-One-Give-One
Bearing in mind all of the criticisms above, TOMS shoe brand has built a brand on the premise that buying one pair of their shoes automatically includes the provision of another pair of shoes to an underprivileged child in a developing nation somewhere. Three months after Jason abandoned sending a million shirts to Africa, TOMS celebrated sending a million pairs of shoes to the underprivileged. It continues to do so.
While there are possibly more people in the world who need shoes than might need shirts (though this is debatable), TOMS can be (and has been) broadly criticised for the same kinds of unintended consequences of dumping shoes in places where people might otherwise be employed to make them.
while donating a pair of shoes helps shoelessness, it does not help poverty.
Further, though, the TOMS campaign — like the million shirts — misses the fundamental point that not having a pair of shoes (or a shirt, christmas toy, etc.) is not a problem about not having shoes. It’s a problem of poverty. Shoelessness, such as it is, is a symptom of a much bigger and more complex problem. And while donating a pair of shoes helps shoelessness, it does not help poverty.
Things like jobs help poverty. Jobs making things like shoes, for example. But TOMS doesn’t make its shoes in Africa, it makes them in China  where it’s presumably cheaper to make two pairs of shoes and give one away than it is to get people in a needier community to make one pair of shoes.
The result of this setup, as Zizek explains most succinctly, is that on a big-picture level, TOMS (and other buy-my-product-and-donate companies) are busy building the exploitative global structure that produces economic inequality, while on the other hand pretending that supporting them actually does something to fix it.
It doesn’t. It just gives people shoes.
3. Machine gun preacher
The criticisms of TOMS, Jason, and other purveyors of SWEDOW tend to be intellectual, economic concerns. Problems with Sam Childers, the machine gun preacher, are so much more straightforward.
It’s dangerous and insane.
After a misspent youth in the United States and a few years spent behind bars, Childers headed to Sudan on a missionary project to repair huts devastated in the war. There he would be commanded by God to build an orphanage for local children and, incidentally, take up arms against the Lord’s Resistance Army, who was terrorizing the region. With an AK-47 and a bible, Sam would spread the wrath of the Lord and rescue abducted children for the next few years.
Imagine John Rambo with a biker’s beard hunting rebels in the savannah and you pretty much get the idea.
No matter how much you care to help the women/children/villages/gorillas in a particular warzone, trying to solve what is in effect a problem of armed insecurity through establishing another minor armed militia is never a good idea. However entertaining the film turns out to be, it’s the security studies equivalent of pouring gasoline on a forest fire. Peace — and a long-term future for those affected by violence in what is now South Sudan — can only be guaranteed through a diplomatic agreement between the groups that command the thousands of men with guns. Playing Rambo in the bush would not be tolerated back home, and it shouldn’t be here in Africa.
Childers is not the first person to get the crazy idea of solving violent situations by running in with guns. Hussein Mohammed Farah Aidid  is an ex-Marine, and the son of Gen. Mohammed Farah Aidid (of Black Hawk Down fame), who returned to Somalia in 1996 to lead the powerful Habr Gedir clan in the country’s civil war. That hasn’t worked out so well either.
4. 50 Cent ransoming children in Somalia
Just this month, rapper 50 Cent visited Dolow in Somalia  at the request of the World Food Programme. The trip was presumably intended to raise awareness of the issues in the way that Angelina Jolie and George Clooney did for Sudan and Oprah did for South Africa. There are quite a few examples of celebrities connecting with Africa actually. There is even a map to keep track of who has “dibs” on what region.
If the trip was nothing more than Fifty touring hard-hit areas in order to bring the world’s lazy media along, then it would have been useful at best, and benign at worst. But there is more.
If you Like the Facebook page  for his Street King energy drink, he will provide a meal for a child in need. If the page received a million Likes before Sunday, he would donate an additional million meals.
So let’s break that down.
  1. If you Like Fifty’s Facebook page — without even buying the drink — a child, presumably in Somalia, gets fed.
  2. We can infer that there is a pot of dollars somewhere earmarked for feeding needy children. Two million meals worth of feeding if you count the million Like-meals plus the potential million bonus.
  3. Those meals, while they could be donated, and have presumably been budgeted for, willnot be, except to the extent that you give Street King props online.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is called extortion. Dramatically photographed, concealed-as-humanitarian-activism, extortion. I can feed so very many meals to these starving children, but I won’t unless you give me something.
The benefit of involving celebrities in aid work is often that it works to focus the attention of their fans and the media machine more generally on understanding, for however brief a moment, something that is happening somewhere in the world. Out of that can come the kind of empathy and activism that makes things like the Save Darfur  campaign possible.
The celebrity’s contribution, though, hinges on whether they can successfully translate attention on them into attention to the issues. When a humanitarian issue becomes a platform for pushing an energy drink on the back of people’s suffering, we should be ashamed.
5. Donor fund restrictions

Photo by WhereTheRoadGoes 
Not so much an organisation or a specific event, this a policy constraint that isn’t as widely known as it should be. When many governments donate aid money to countries that have been wracked by disasters, or which require long-term assistance, it often comes with a giant asterisk in the fine print:
A significant portion of the cash provided for such assistance must be spent on goods and services provided by suppliers from the donating country.
Not only inefficient, this policy prescription can lead to outright ridiculous results. In the case of the Mozambique floods in 2000, I met a medical volunteer who explained how the only US-made bikes that they could find to get around the country on short notice were Harley Davidsons. And so three of them ended up running between medical stations like some breed of medical Hell’s Angel. Fascinating to behold, but utterly wasteful.
Far more troublesome, as is often the case, are the economics of this sort of donate-and-bill-back activity. Where the donor aid money is tied to spending on donor-country products and services, far less of the amount spent in aid actually ends up benefitting the recipient country. Few local people are employed, and few local organisations see any new opportunities to bid for and provide aid-goods.
This has two effects: firstly, what could have been a large financial boost arriving with the aid is effectively neutered — shunted into a much smaller economy-within-the-economy; secondly, without the opportunity for competitive pricing on local goods, the money is spent on buying comparatively expensive imported products and staff. Harley Davidsons, rather than dirtbikes, for a tenth of the price.
6. Making food aid the same colour as cluster munitions.
Probably the most devastating screw-up in the history of helping was the decisions that lead to cluster munitions and daily food ration packets both being coloured canary yellow.


Left is delicious. Right will kill you. You try tell the difference if you can't read English and live out in the steppes.

Each yellow BLU-97 bomblet is the size of a soda can and is capable of killing anyone within a 50 meter radius and severely injuring anyone within 100 meters from the detonation. A Humanitarian Daily Rations (HDR) package contains a 2,000 calorie meal.

It was inevitable that Afghans coming across the yellow packages in the field would confuse the two. Children in particular — with no English and little idea of what a BLU-97 is even if they did — would investigate the yellow containers and try to pick them up, with devastating consequences that an Air Force general described as “unfortunate.”
7. Making USAID a foreign policy tool
In 1990, on the eve of the first Gulf War, Yemeni Ambassador Abdullah Saleh al-Ashtal voted no to using force against Iraq in a security council session. US Ambassador Thomas Pickering walked to the Yemeni Ambassador’s seat and retorted, “That was the most expensive No vote you ever cast.” Immediately afterwards, USAID ceased operations and funding in Yemen.
USAID, despite its appearances as a benign, well-intentioned member of the humanitarian aid community, is deeply compromised in being beholden to the whims of US foreign policy. Unlike organisations like Médecins Sans Frontières which strictly guard their neutrality, USAID’s ability to hand out food aid and other assistance is subject to the political agenda of groups like Congress and the US Military.
In the case of the army, USAID in Afghanistan has repeatedly had to participate in administering humanitarian relief in cooperation with army elements engaged in the “hearts and minds” strategy of manipulating assistance in order to win over civilian populations. The unfortunate side effect of this relationship is that USAID’s operations come to be seen by opposing forces as complicit in the enemy war effort and thus legitimate targets. An even more unfortunate side effect is that other humanitarian groups with far more benevolent agendas may find themselves tarred with the same political brush and unwittingly targeted for attacks and abductions too.
Sometimes bad aid is just the consequence of someone caring too much, but knowing too little. Other times it’s people who should have known better not being diligent in considering the consequences of their actions. And sometimes politicians and unscrupulous businessmen are simply manipulating the suffering of others for their own ends. When it’s benign or thwarted, it’s easy enough to laugh it off. But when a bad idea is carried through, the results can be diabolical. 

"Look the other way"

The following is a very insightful article about what is happening in the Kingdom of Swaziland and how it's just not quite terrible enough for anyone to care, or pay attention. Printed in The Economist on June 9, 2012.


Swaziland and its king

Look the other way

With no hint of democracy in the offing, the kingdom quietly plods along


THIS time last year Africa’s last absolute monarchy was in a mess. Swaziland’s government had run out of cash and, without economic and democratic reforms, no one seemed prepared to lend it any. Civil servants faced with a 10% cut in wages were going on strike, schools and universities were closing, hospitals running out of drugs. Pro-democracy protesters took to the streets. The budget deficit had soared well into double figures. King Mswati III’s corrupt and nepotistic regime wobbled.
A year later the little landlocked kingdom, almost totally surrounded by South Africa, is expecting a budget surplus. Government services are almost back to normal, the pro-democracy movement has grown weak and divided, and the protests, suppressed by the police, have almost fizzled out. The 44-year-old king, ranked by Forbes as the 15th-richest reigning monarch in the world, flanked by his dozen-odd wives (three have gone) and at least 23 children, is having a ball.
But the country is still in a mess, and it is likely to get worse. Two-thirds of its 1.2m people still live on less than $2 a day. One in four adults is HIV positive, the world’s highest rate. Life expectancy has fallen to 49. A state of emergency declared in 1973 is still in force. Any hint of dissent is crushed. The king’s spies are everywhere.
The economy, which has trundled along for the past decade at a rate of barely 2%, less than half that for Africa as a whole, is propped up by handouts from South Africa. But receipts from a regional customs’ union last year plummeted to 2.9 billion rand ($343m), less than half their normal total, plunging the country into crisis. This year, they have bounced back to 7.1 billion rand. But the relief is likely to be only temporary, with customs-union revenue forecast to fall again sharply next year, throwing the country into renewed crisis.
Meanwhile, the profligate but widely revered king continues to act as if nothing is amiss, splashing out millions on an unnecessary new international airport and refusing to carry out the fiscal and democratic reforms required to qualify for international loans or development aid from Western donors. South Africa, which at the height of last year’s cash crisis had offered Swaziland a 2.4 billion rand loan, has now put the deal on ice, and the African Development Bank has decided to quash planned budget aid of $100m a year for three years because the government has failed to keep its promises.
A former royal adviser has described the king as “unbalanced”, influenced by witchcraft, and “not intellectually well-developed”, according to an American diplomatic cable recently released by WikiLeaks. Another leaked cable quoted a half-brother of the king claiming he was surrounded by “dishonest, uneducated people” giving him bad advice.
But nothing truly horrific is going on. There may be the odd suspicious death in custody, but no mass killings or other grave atrocities. Little Swaziland has no big deposits of gold, diamonds or oil to covet. No civil war is threatening the region. So it is left to its own devices, while the world looks the other way.

http://www.economist.com/node/21556626

Friday, June 22, 2012

Dreaming of being on the road again!

“Tourists don’t know where they’ve been, travelers don’t know where they’re going.” – Paul Theroux

It's been 9 days since I've been admitted into the medical hut for observation; waiting on my immune system to win the battle against infections. In this lengthy period of solitude I have accomplished many things. First off, I have finally closed out all grants, turned in all completion reports, and wrote out my Description of Service (DOS) document. As the Peace Corps office has been waiting on these reports for a while, I'm sure they are jumping for joy (or at least can stop crying inside) that I'm finally finished! Secondly, I have successfully taught my parents how to use Skye. It's only taken 2 years to do this. Thirdly, all office personal has gotten to know me- whether they wanted to or not. I have imposed myself in everyones office for longer than I was welcome since, apparently, I no longer understand non-verbal cues. Fourth, I've had a week long date with the Internet, giving me time to catch up on the world. What I learned was that a girl named Carly Rae Jepsen is blowing up in the states for an absolutely terrible song "Call Me Maybe"- can someone explain this phenomenon to me?, that John Mayer has come out with a new album, that the Maui Film Festival was a hit, that Miley Cyrus is getting married, the 3rd season of Glee has finished, and that American politicians have no control when it comes to mudslinging. And lastly, I have prepared myself for life after Peace Corps- specifically in regards to travelling.

Since I moved to Swaziland two years ago, I've had a general idea of where I wanted to travel after my service. I knew I wanted to surf along the coast of South Africa, make my way up Africa, then fly out of Spain but the details were unclear. Throughout the past two years my remedy for especially depressing days in Swaziland were watching movies related to Hawaii, surfing, or the ocean, AND bringing out my travel books and mapping out my assault on Africa. As you can probably guess I had a fairly solid plan.

Then COS Conference happened. The flight PC found for me to return home was unbelievably and disturbingly cheap. A flight to Sacramento was more expensive than a flight to Maui, which made no sense considering they would've had me fly through Canada to California to Oahu to reach Maui. But I digress. The cash in lieu amount given, forced me to rethink my plans. A flight from Spain to Maui would cost about $500 more dollars than I received and that did not include the flight from Africa to Spain. In a rut and unsure of what to do, a friend recommended I research flights through Asia. Turns out Asia to Hawaii is quite affordable! So that was it. Plans changed in a heartbeat. My travel throughout Africa would be truncated as my desire to explore Asia grew with every passing minute.

Within the past 9 days I have done an extraordinary amount of research. I know a general outline of where I want to go, what would be awesome to see or do, and most importantly the places I must avoid for safety's sake. And though I know a general idea of what I'd like to, I have no set plans. That's the beauty of travelling. You meet people along the way, locals take you off the tourist beaten paths, you learn about secret treasures and you go where the road takes you. In planning my next adventure I was reminded of something Paul Theroux said, "Tourists don't know where they've been, travelers don't know where they're going." I'm excited and more than that, I'm ready for the next chapter in my life.To fully appreciate a place is to take everything in, including the good and the bad, being adaptable to all sorts of situations, and being able and free to change your plans if and when something comes up.


For me that starts on July 27th on a surf expedition in South Africa leading me to Namibia, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Malawi, Tanzania, Rwanda, Uganda, and hopefully through Ethiopia then to Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Laos and Japan bringing me home on December 17th. But this is just an outline and it's bound to change when I'm on the road. Oh to be healthy and on the road again!

Monday, June 18, 2012

"I am the master of my fate and the captain of my destiny"

I've always loved, respected, and admired Nelson Mandela for his strength, courage, unfathomable determination, ability to forgive, persevere, and despite all odds he overcame what was deemed to be impossible. He united a nation, fought against both white and black denomination, and gave everything for a greater cause-for something he believed to be worth fighting for. I have been reading his book, Long Walk To Freedom, and my admiration only grows with each passing page. He is everything I want to be-fearless, audacious, passionate, dedicated, humble, and patient just to name a few admirable qualities.

I have compiled a list of my favorite Nelson Mandela quotes:

  • “There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.”
  • “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
  • “I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one’s head pointed toward the sun, one’s feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”
  • “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”
  • “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.”
  • “The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
  • “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison.”
  • “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”
  •  “A leader. . .is like a shepherd. He stays behind the flock, letting the most nimble go out ahead, whereupon the others follow, not realizing that all along they are being directed from behind.”
  • “I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.”
  • “There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”
  • “Overcoming poverty is not a task of charity, it is an act of justice. Like Slavery and Apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. Sometimes it falls on a generation to be great. YOU can be that great generation. Let your greatness blossom.”
  • “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?”
  • “Quitting is leading too.”
  • “During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”
  • “There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires”
  • “We must use time creatively, and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.”
  • “I AM THE MASTER OF MY FATE AND THE CAPTAIN OF MY DESTINY.”
  • “Tread softly, Brathe peacefully, Laugh hysterically.”
  • “Success in politics demands that you must take your people into confidence about your views and state them very clearly, very politely, very calmly, but nevertheless, state them openly.”
  • “I shall stick to our vow: never, never under any circumstances, to say anything unbecoming of the other...The trouble, of course, is that most successful men are prone to some form of vanity. There comes a stage in their lives when they consider it permissible to be egotistic and to brag to the public at large about their unique achievements.”
  • “I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended.”
Moral of the story: Try, try, and try again. Never give up. The road is tough, the road is hard, there will constantly be another mountain to climb, another obstacle to overcome. But do it with love. Do it with courage. And then, who knows what can be accomplished, and the impact you will have on others.
 Perhaps one day I will be as strong, bold, gentle, caring, and wise as Madiba. He is a great man. The world cannot forget what he has done and how far South Africa has come because of his determination and willingness to compromise. This is to you Nelson Mandela. In one month you'll celebrate your 94th birthday and I can only say thank you for everything you have done. May you have many happy returns!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Hypochondriac you say?

As I had mentioned in the previous post, I had my COS medical exams this week. Little did I know, I was in for a RUDE AWAKENING: I'm not as healthy as I thought.

Every test seemed to bring about more tests. And those results brought more doctors appointments and further examinations, which eventually has led me to here and now, where I'm sitting in the Peace Corps office waiting for the latest results and resting up so I can travel back to my hut sweet hut! How I miss my small little room with my spider and scorpion friends!

For two years I have said that "I am allergic to Swaziland". At first this started out as a joke, that I was ready to leave, but slowly and surely I realized that this was not only metaphorically true, but realistic as well. The first time I left the country in December 2010, I realized my constant allergies, the sneezing and crying came to a halt in Mozambique and I could breathe with ease. Since then, every vacation I've taken whether it be to South Africa, Mozambique, or Europe has been a wonderful break from the constant irritation that seems to only happen in Swaziland. I have found that it takes about a day to clear my system, but I'll be perfectly healthy for the duration of my trip. I am truly allergic to Swaziland.

So for two whole years, I've been taking Zyrtec daily, and when the allergies get extremely terrible I'll take up to 3 Benedryls a night, along with a nose spray and eye drops. Although I have allergies everywhere in Swaziland, some parts of the country are worse than others. There was one memorable night where it was extremely terrible and I had taken 3 benedryls just to stop crying and go to sleep. I woke up around 10pm with something touching my right hand. Annoyed, because it wouldn't leave, I turned over and quickly fell back into my self induced coma. A few minutes later I awoke to a scream and my hard-drive flying across the room. Trying to piece together what just happened, my friend sleeping on the bunk below me informed me that something fell off of my bed onto her. She grabbed it thinking it was my phone. It turned out to be a bat. She flung the bat across the room and my computer and hard drive went with it. We spent about 20 minutes hunting the bat down and trapping it, then I went back into my cocoon and fell fast asleep. As it turns out, I was petting the bat in my sleep. Good thing we've got our rabies shots.

Most of my nights in Swaziland end in a similar fashion; I end up going to bed extremely early due to allergies. So when one of my friends said to me, "Shauna, I heard you wheezing last night. Were you OK? I think you have asthma, you need to get checked out" and she had heard me quite clearly from a tent far away, I realized it must be pretty severe. The thought of developing asthma had never crossed my mind previously and I hoped this was not the case. I immediately talked with my medical officer and she gave me a breath tester. Turns out I was way below where I should be. She put me on an inhaler immediately.

About 2-3 weeks later, I came in for my COS (Close Of Service) Medical Examination. The inhaler was helping a lot and I had thought my breathing had improved, so when my medical officer said she was sending me to get a chest x-ray, I was shocked. If I was healthy, why would I need an x-ray?! Results came back and in it held another surprise- I have bronchitis and possibly pneumonia. WHAT?! How on earth did I not know and more importantly, how long have I had this? I've been feeling slightly ill since January but blamed it mostly on the allergies, so have I been sick all along?

Then I have found out that I have an iron deficiency. I figured as much since I rarely have access to meat, and my diet consists of ramen, rice and beans, and spaghetti. But it was still nice to hear that my "laziness", tiredness, and inability to walk up hills was more than just being physically out of shape. I have a legitimate medical excuse!

Among these issues, I also became aware of that my vision has significantly worsened, the click in my jaw is terrible- I now clench and grind my teeth at night, I may have developed asthma, I have tested for anemia and there is inflammation in my system with which they are testing for a variety of things. So, basically, I'm on all sorts of medication right now. I've been put on a few different antibiotics, antihistamines, inhalers, antimalarial pills, and other random stuff. I definitely feel like a hypochondriac with all my meds right about now. Like they said, discomfort courtesy of U.S. Peace Corps.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Life Lately

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of events.

Swaziland is home to one of Southern Africa's best international festivals: BUSHFIRE. The music festival took place on May 25-27 at House of Fire. My friends and I got there early, set up our tents, and prepared for a weekend of music, food, and fun! Though the music line up wasn't as spectacular as last years, it was definitely a better time.

Following Bushfire, I had my Close Of Service (COS) Conference. It was 3 days of learning what needs to happen before I leave Swaziland, how hard the transition will be back to America, choosing my "official" departure date, researching my ticket home, reminiscing over the past 2 years and saying goodbye. It was exactly what we needed.

Then on June 6th a friend and I went to Johannesburg to take the GRE. Let's just say we may have gone overboard on our excitement to see a mall, McDonalds, a food court, and a movie theatre. We may have gone straight to McDonalds upon entering Jozi and watched a double feature of Hunger Games and The Avengers in 3D, which Swaziland has been promising to show for the past month but hasn't. When booking our stay at the hostel through hostelworld.com, it said that the dorms were taken so we decided to camp. Unfortunately it's winter now and Joburg was freezing! We ended up wraped in all of our clothing, shivering all night, and getting little-no sleep.

Upon returning to Swaziland we went on a shopping spree to pick up gifts for family (and mainly for myself) to send home. Then following this, I have my COS Medical examinations, where I spent 3 days getting poked, prodded, chest x-rays and pooping in a cup. YAY for Peace Corps and yay for being healthy!