As time races against the clock, I find myself reminiscing on these past 2 years.
I’ve learned A LOT. From the countless hours spent alone in my hut I’ve gotten to know myself- both the best and worst qualities. I’ve grown more assertive, passionate, and articulate. No longer am I that timid young girl, cautious of stepping on people’s toes and afraid to speak my mind. This has mostly been in part to being surrounded by 60 other insanely crazy, motivational driven, and natural born leaders or also known as Peace Corps Volunteers. During my Pre-Service Training we often would go late into the evenings past the sessions- asking questions, arguing and debating. The loud and persistent took the forefront of the conversations and the quiet were left stringing along. In a room full of leaders you quickly learn to find your voice or have it spoken on your behalf.
My eyes have been opened to development work and from first-hand experience I have learned the Do’s and Don’ts of “helping” others (see the previous blog post).
I have physically and mentally grown as well. I have learned to appreciate water and` look forward to the day where I will not be having to walk a couple kms for it or have to rely on the rain. I have learned to deal with creatures of all kinds including black mambas (snakes with venom so poisonous it’d kill you within 15 minutes), scorpions, tarantulas, bats, rats, centipedes, frogs, roaches, and spiders of all kinds. I have learned to say no to people.
But the hardest trial and biggest obstacle of living in Swaziland has been one of gender inequality and sexual harassment. In training we were told the best way to deal with sexual harassment was to let it happen and don’t make a scene or the perpetrators will continue and make it worse. And that is what I did. For the first couple of months I would let the comments slide. I would reason with myself, “This is their culture.”
One day as I left my shopping town heading back to site, I was stuck in the back of a pick-up truck with 20 other people. Packed full, the men used this to their advantage getting as close as they could to me. Besides the touching, and the “accidental kiss” when the truck turned, one young man used this as a way to sing Celine Dion in my ear. As hilarious as this was, it bothered me that they thought it was OK to do so. I told them to back off I did try to take this lightheartedly convincing myself it was OK because this was their culture.
In my community I noticed the gender differences all around me. The way men treated women, the way women were to serve men in their own homes, how boys were clearly superior to girls in every aspect of life. These things annoyed me relentlessly but still I did nothing because it was not my place nor my culture to do things differently. Then one day a guy in my community who I had become friends with, said something that pushed me over the edge. On a facebook message he said that this was a man’s world and it was understandable that women should not be heard. I broke down and in turn lost all faith in this country. This was my turning point. I directed all my energy into having girls empowerment clubs- GLOW. If men didn’t believe in the women, and their society is constantly putting these young women down, how do they expect to succeed?
Throughout the 2 years I have experienced a lot of sexual and gender harassment, but sadly this is NOTHING to what Swazi women experience daily. I have said it before and I will say it again, Swazi women are the strongest people on earth. They are raised in a male dominated society, and those in the rural areas are beaten, sometimes raped, and they are raised with the notion that they are made to get married and have lots of children regardless if they finish school.
If it wasn’t for the love, generosity, and strength of the Swazi women, I would have left this country a long time ago. They are a beacon of all that is good in the world. They are a light and shining example that things can be beautiful despite all the bad and harm that comes your way. The Swazi woman is strong, loving, loyal, caring, respectful, generous, cares for everyone regardless if it’s their child or not, and despite any physical or emotional abuse they receive- the Swazi woman remains the solid rock of faith. For all the bad that I have experienced on behalf of the male gender, I have gained more perspective and love from the women. So this is to you- My Swazi friends, family and confidants. You are amazing, you have kept me here, you have taught me what it means to be strong. I will forever respect, love and admire you. Keep your heads up. A new day is approaching.
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